What Do You and Bette Midler Have In Common? Does your image reflect how extraordinary you are?
I love Bette Midler’s incredible energy, quick wit and quirky style. While she is often over the top on many levels, she is also always (at least in her public persona) perfectly Bette. Whether you love her style or cringe when you see it, her message is something we can all admire. Bette is Bette – loud and clear! There is also a somewhat famous quote attributed to Bette which says, “I have my standards. They’re low. But I have them.”
This is probably more her quick wit speaking than her own personal style but I don’t personally know Bette so I can only guess. Either way, however, I know she speaks for many women when it comes to creating a wardrobe. The question is…why?
Over the past 24 years of working with women on how they look (and, of course, 30 years of my own personal reflection before that), I have found that there are at least 4 reasons why women settle for less – often wearing the same few (personally uninspiring) outfits day in and day out. See if you can relate to any of these:
1. You feel clueless. You do not know how or where to begin to create a wardrobe you love.
2. You hate to shop. You do not like shopping, primping or any of the planning that goes into creating a wardrobe, not to mention whether or not you even know how.
3. You do not like your body. Your first inclination is to cover it and hide until you feel better about how you look.
4. You do not have time. You buy things on the run, do not have time to organize your wardrobe, and exhaustion causes you to toss things haphazardly into your drawers and not organize your closet.
Here are 3 steps to help you get out of your Bette Midler rut:
1. Awareness. Congratulations! Yes, you have already taken a giant step forward. The important thing now is to do something to move you forward so you don’t fall back into the “nothing works” thinking.
2. Build on what IS working? Almost always when I go into a client’s closet after she has told me she doesn’t like anything in there she will come across something she loves. The point is that she owns and can identify something she enjoys wearing.
3. Practice the excercise below
Take a peek in your closet and pull out one thing that delights you. Analyze it. What is it about it that you love? The color, the fabric, the pattern, texture, style details, the way it shows off your waist or legs or shoulders, you get the idea.
Do this with three or four things. Write down what you discover and then see where you can find commonality. Maybe you’ll find out that you love a paisley design or a particular collar design or a specific fit. Maybe everything you chose is made out of linen or has a similar texture.
Make a list of what you learned and write it on an index card. Keep it handy when you go shopping. Look for the things you discovered that you love about the favorite items in your wardrobe. Practice is the only way you’ll make any changes. Keep it as positive as possible. Each time you do this you will get closer to your goal.
One last word… As you take these 3 steps, you will find a key that will help you move forward. Just go and explore!